The Gibbon Experience

Ever experienced a gibbon (species of monkey)? Me neither, didn't see a single one the whole time. How you ask could something that's named after an animal you are supposed to see still be absolutely amazing even if you don't. The answer is quite simple really: treehouses and ziplines. Now I've done ziplining before and I've seen treehouses before too, but nothing like this. There are six treehouses connected by many more ziplines, some almost a kilometer long. Something like this in a developed country would require constant supervision from experienced and mature guides. Hooray for Lao! Our guide was 19 and we only saw him on the hikes and to bring us food, once we arrived at our treehouse we were able to uses the ziplines as much as we wanted by ourselves. A few of us even went ziplining at night (fun, dangerous, and against the rules) when our treehouses' water supply suddenly went dry. Overall definitely one of the highlights of my trip so far. The only drawback was that one of the treehouses had hundreds of bees in it. I don't like bees. If they didn't make honey and sustain our ecosystem through pollination, I would advocate that they be exterminated. Luckily though, the best cure for a bee sting is to zipline half a kilometer over a jungle river valley. Four people on my trip, myself included, can testify to that.

The Siam Paragon

For all you people who think that capitalism is an unfair economic system that disenfranchises the vast majority of the world's population to the benefit of an elite few... you are right. But there is a counter point to all that negative shit: The Siam Paragon mall in Bangkok. Need to buy a set of fitted Hermes luggage for your new Lamborghini? Just drive through the mall from the dealership to the boutique, you could even stop and pick up a Cartier collar for your wife's dog while you are on the way. There is also a massive grocery store that makes Whole Foods look like No Frills, South East Asia's biggest aquarium, and a movie theater with VIP screening rooms (see pic). If happiness could be purchased it would have a boutique at the Paragon, and like everything else that is sold there, the vast majority of the world would not be able to afford it.

Koh Tao

Koh Tao is the greatest place in Thailand. If you disagree with me, you are wrong, deal with it. SCUBA diving is also very fun.

Siem Reap and the Temples of Angkor

Now for the happy part of Khmer history (and one which the book I bought on Cambodia did not cover and I therefore know virtually nothing about), the ancient part. The Khmer empire used to cover much of mainland South East Asia. The God Kings of Cambodia dominated over the Thais and Vietnamese, bitter enemies who later overshadowed them in military and economic power. To honor how bad ass they were, the Khmer kings ordered the construction of what are among the most beautiful and well preserved historical buildings I have ever seen: the Temples of Angkor. While the temple complex is sprawling, the highlight for me was Angkor Wat itself (sunrise pic above); the famous three tower building any Kingston resident will recognize from the walls of the many Cambodian restaurants in town. Anybody else, people who perhaps spend their time learning about the world instead of getting shitfaced and eating hangover food, may have noticed that it is also front and center on the Cambodian flag. Tomb Raider was filmed at another temple in the Angkor complex, so fans of Angelina Jolie's tits (is there any other reason to watch that piece of shit?) may also recognize some of the buildings.

Besides Angkor, and the hundreds of hotels that bear its name, the town of Siem Reap is an enjoyable place to be. The food is great and affordable, there is a giant club that has $.75 vodka shots and plays Christmas carols (as you may have guessed I needed to be informed of the music the following afternoon), or if your feel like relaxing, you can retard yourself with a happy pizza from a myriad of establishments. I decided to give back to the community by volunteering for several days teaching. Above you can see a picture of me teaching a group of students how to look like a hobo.... in English! Finally for the broke or cheap traveller (I'm quickly becoming the former), it would be foolish not to mention the abundance of fake books. Need a lonely planet for Nepal, but are only gonna read one chapter? No problem when an almost perfect counterfeit is available for $4.50 at the grocery store (it complemented the fake Nokia cellphone I bought in Lao quite well). So once again, go to Cambodia. If not, take the time to learn more about its history, ancient preferably, so maybe you can fill me in when I get home.

Phnom Penh and Cambodia

Cambodia is an incredible country to visit, but while travelling there, it is impossible to ignore the effects of its violent history. Cambodia began the 20th Century as a French colony along with the rest of 'Indochina' (Lao, Cambodia and Vietnam), and did not gain independence until 1953. Of course it was not long after one arrogant and shortsighted foreign power left than another one, you guessed it the good ol' US of A, began to interfere with its sovereignty. Essentially Cambodia was forced to abandon its neutrality in the commy vs. capitalism battle that was raging in South East Asia. Choosing America, help quickly came in the form of large scale B-52 strikes on rural villages. This combined with the complete ineptitude of the Cambodian government of the time, drove more and more people into supporting the communist Khmer Rouges. When the US backed government was defeated, the Khmer Rouges promptly evacuated all the cities and began one of the most fucked up social experiments in recorded history. Attempting to create a 'peasants paradise', anyone who was educated or possessed professional skills associated with modernity were executed or worked to death. As many as 3 million people may have been killed during Khmer Rouge rule, and it was not until an invasion by Communist Vietnam that the genocide finally stopped. Since then, the Khmer (Cambodian) people have been on the short end of the political stick. Free and fair elections in 1993 were quickly overturn in a coup which produced the present dictatorship. Corruption is rife and evident even to the most casual observer. I noticed that some of the nicest cars in country: Lexus', Benzs, Ranges, ect. had the telltale blue and red RCAF (Royal Cambodian Armed Forces) license plates; you tell me how the hell that happens.

However besides spending a depressing day visiting the Killing Fields (see picture) and S-21 torture center, there is much fun to be had in Phnom Penh. The backpackers area on the lake is beautiful (see picture), weed is accessible and actually good, and there is a vibrant night life. There is also some beautiful colonial French architecture (the frogs didn't suck at everything), including the stunning Raffles Le Royal Hotel (see picture), which of course, I stayed a night in. There is also a shooting range and go-karts, both of which are fun; though I admit the former funnels money (a lot of it believe me) to the corrupt government. All of this is surrounded by the smiling friendly Khmer people who appear, at least on the surface, not to have lost their optimism despite all that has happened to them. So, go to Cambodia, and if not, at least take some time to learn more about its history